The Adagonyes were a Nigerian-American couple who were together when they moved to the states, got married here, and built an entire long live together with children and a house and jobs and that whole “American Dream” thing that we’re supposed to believe in.

The problem with their American Dream however is that they were unhappy together but felt indebted to one another, they were happy to be in America but wanted to spend time with other people, and they were constantly reminded by American culture and government how luuuuuuucky they were to be here, how they shouldn’t squander the opportunity, how they were barely welcome here in the first place, and how divorce would be such a draaaaaain on their already stretched finances.

Because of the unique intricacies of American divorce proceedings and legalese, we took extra care to explain every step very thoroughly to Mrs. and Mr. Adagonye, stopping to ensure they understood, probably being somewhat condescending but only trying to be thoughtful, and we explained that the divorce could take several months.

The third appointment they had scheduled – they didn’t show up. No call no show. Cause for concern. They didn’t respond to our many attempts to reach them.

A month later, we received a very formal letter from them – in Nigeria – declining to employ our services because they, with their family, had returned to Nigeria and taken up residence in Calabar near their larger family.

Turns out – they didn’t want to break up with one another, they wanted to break up with America.